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Low Cycle on the Rollercoaster Tonight

wk me 2Moving on can be very  hard…  why is it I only want to clean my house when I have less than an hour to get ready to go out for the night?  Why do I have to face such a busy street, and be forced to watch cars, resembling that car, pass by, every 30 seconds, but I know without a doubt none of those are the one anyways?

How To Remove Past AttachmentsJocelyn Daher

–You know, I tried. I meditated, imagining the cords breaking, just like the article said.  I imagined about eight large long cords wrapped all around my entire body, and I visualized cutting them, one by one, like it instructed.  But one.. one I couldn’t cut. I don’t even know what to say.. my mind wouldn’t do it – it was so strange.  I couldn’t visualize the last one letting go.  I wanted it to, I tried and tried to see it.. and to make it go.. but it wouldn’t.  That was very discouraging.  Even now, when I try to go to that place, I see the cord, wrapped tight, while the others dangle there.. deadening.  But that one – it is even thicker now. I wish he’d let go.  He’s not doing anything else.  Meanwhile, I’m fighting a losing battle sometimes, I’m beginning to think.–

Yes I sound crazy.. but I could really relate to that.  It really happened to me.

I’m no spiritualist, but I’ve got to try something, and this was too close to home- this article.  I actually experienced thinking about this person from a distance while he was thinking about me at the same time too. I’m sure its been happening constantly since we broke up, making it impossible for me to get over, when it keeps coming up fresh in my head.  Even today, I can still feel it.  I need to break that hold- because that person is crazy, and its just weighing on me very unhealthily.

But nonetheless going out tonight… dragging myself.  I need a new beginning… I am longing and angry and ready to take it.. but I won’t if I stay here.  I hope if you feel as crappy as I do, you drag yourself out tonight and do something really wild.  I’d love to hear about it.

😛

Any questions, perspective, and comments are warmly welcomed.. I swear! Good and bad, its about growing and learning and getting better. I'd love to hear your thoughts, anytime. ;)

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