I used to believe that. It used to be true.
Before you start reading this, please know this is a detour from my normal posts, and really directed at one person. I’ve been really bothered lately and I’m getting sick of trying to ignore it, so I’m going to do what I do and write about it– I hope it helps.
If I could take one thing back, I’d never of accepted a friend request I got in early January, 2013.
It was the start of a complete waste of a year and a half of my life.
I’m sure he is reading these, (yes, he’s that big of a coward folks), I’d like to tell you this, NGRF I believed in us, I believed in you. In all the crap you said and the kind of man you pretended to be. How you could question me or wonder why I could love you and want to be with you, after all we shared, digital and together – and when we weren’t together but still connected–is completely SICK IN THE HEAD. After you knew the kind of person I REALLY am… its just incredible how horrible you were. How you could treat me as anything but the girl you were meant to be with is so beyond fucked up I don’t even know what to say.
But you are, beyond fucked up, aren’t you? You “blocked” it all out, you forgot? Well, you really didn’t— its EATING AWAY AT YOU, how STUPID you were and how miserable you are STILL. But you like miserable. I’ll NEVER KNOW why you were attracted to me, because who you are is completely nothing like me, I know now.
But yet today, because of that stupid connection, I feel your pain. I DON”T DESERVE THAT. Get your shit together dumbfuck. GROW UP and do what you should of 8 months ago YOU COWARD!! No, better yet, stay where your at and continue looking like the complete idiot you obviously are. Yes, I see that now!!
You’ll never have the guts to face me, DO RIGHT BY ME, to be the man you “pretended” you were. You will stay hidden in your cowardly little shell, so stay there.. and stop thinking about me, reading my blog, looking at my FB page by signing on with another log in (duh) cause I blocked you from any possible communication with me and just go live in your wonderful, rented home that fixed everything, right?? LMFAO!!!!! I’m sure one day that house will show you the love you so desperately think your going to somehow get by being a pathetic martyr.
You’ll NEVER get anything from what I say, because you couldn’t listen when you actually had me around. You hurt my heart and soul more than anyone and you preyed on a very vulnerable woman in a horrible time in my life. I hope you are proud of yourself.
I hope you break your leg and can’t run the Marathon, because I’m seriously considering not running it because I know you will be there. I wish I never met you, I GOT NOTHING GOOD FROM KNOWING YOU, and you are a very, very selfish pathetic human being.
I’d like to say I feel better, but I don’t. Things shouldn’t of gone this way… its so sad how stupid people can be. But I want to get past this.. I NEED TO. I cannot live like this anymore.
To everyone else I apologize, and for the language. I promise I will return to normal soon.