Attitude… is it really all just in you?

I have yet to be called Polly Positivity to my face, but I will admit I might come off as that way.  I do try everyday to have a good attitude, and pass it on. But I’ll let you all in on a little secret. In my real day to day life it is not all rainbows and sunshine.

 In my real life it can be Ferris wheels and adventures, as I might of mentioned.  I CHOOSE to see those, to do those.  I could also CHOOSE to sit at home and cry and worry and sit frozen.  Because you see,

Also in my real life,

I have bad days,

bad times,

bad situations,

and

bad relationships.

As I might of mentioned. (that little word display was a shout out to a fellow blogger, btw!  Love that 9A)

  1. Right now, I can’t even pay my rent. I haven’t been able to right for months.  I’m doing everything under the sun to dodge the Landlord  but everyday it feels like its all going to fall down any minute.
  2. I’m short a job. (I just picked another up though, and now have 3 jobs currently but its still not enough hours.  At one time I had 5, because since the economy crash in 2008 I haven’t had 1 single full time job. It worked out great until I lost one of them. I was a caregiver for a diabetic with limited mobility and she ended up getting breast cancer.  She has since required care I cannot provide so I stepped down.)
  3. In my efforts to find work, me, Ms. know-it-all who yells at my folks when they answer these unknown calls, was scammed.  I do legitimate Mystery shopping, and was caught by someone posing as one and before I even blinked was robbed of 900.00 I don’t even have.  My checking account is in the negative as I type.  Its bad.
  4. My electric and gas will get shut off soon if I don’t pay them something.
  5. I’m still very caught in a gaping wound in my heart.  I get angry about that regularly because its not going away.  Alcohol is not helping.  This and #6 are also intertwined and combined.  Its messed up.
  6. I’m not running enough. I’m afraid I’m not going to be ready for the marathon.  I’m really, really, afraid of that. Alcohol is also not helping.
  7. My sons have pain in their lives– a lot of it. But they do their best to keep me out of it.  That’s kind of a blessing, but still its worrying.
  8. My family has been suffering as breast cancer hit someone I love very very dearly.
  9. I actually got into a fight with a friend, the first in years. While I know she still has growing to do too, it caught me off guard, and hurt.  Another learning experience, I know.  They all come with some pain.
  10. I have a grand daughter and sometimes there is drama in her life too.  See above under sons.

We ALL have problems.  That’s life, right? Here’s what I know though, in all my years of wisdom and self-discovery:

I know its going to be okay.

All of it.  Somehow, someway, its all going to work out. Even if the next step is I sit at my curb with all my belongings, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will be okay.  That good will be around the corner.  It always is, and especially in the face of disaster.  

I know that by constantly worrying, its not going to help. In fact, by doing that, I might even miss some good things that might actually HELP my problems right there in front of me, or even worse push them away or let it go as I am wallowing in my misery.

I know I have to be happy, even if sometimes I might have to fake it.  When I realized “faking it” didn’t mean I was being fake, it was another breakthrough. 

I have to carry on and keep trying and growing and not let it consume me. I CAN ONLY CONTROL ME.  That’s it, and that’s my attitude.  It’s why I’m a survivor.

It’s all in my Attitude.  Your attitude. 

You will ALWAYS have problems, challenges, setbacks and obstacles in life. You choose how you let them affect you and how you react to them. I choose to still believe in life, love, change, growth and good, because I know its power. That’s my attitude.  I hope if you are struggling, you try the fake it till you make it technique.  Because no one else is going to make it better for you. Only you can.  Even if its just fixing how you let it affect you.

Have a great Sunday night.  There are some cool shows on tonight! 

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11 thoughts on “Attitude… is it really all just in you?

  1. You’re right that getting lost in a worryfest would only drain your energy and divert your attention from possible solutions. And I’m sure you know that, if you’re going to husband your energy for constructive uses, it’s pretty important that you engage in those uses at what seems to be a crisis point in your life (because potential imminent eviction is a crisis). Have you made contingency plans in case you do get evicted? Is there any place you could stay for a while until you got back on your feet?

    I know someone through email who needed cash and says she borrowed it from a loanshark. Now she’s desperate for any source of money to repay the loanshark, for obvious reasons. She is investigating “online work” of the sort to which not only you, but others have lost a great deal of money. I’m worried for her but there’s nothing I can do. Except send good thoughts her way.

    Sending good thoughts your way as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, your concern speaks volumes. I am not worried however, eviction in our state is a long process I haven’t even stepped in yet. So please, don’t worry for me. I definitely know better than to ever try anything desperate again, so please don’t worry. I will be okay, things will be okay. You though, are very, very kind to show concern. Thank you for that.

      Liked by 1 person

    • And you know, I really just laid it out there to show this world that even though you might have problems, you cannot consume yourself with them. I have them too, and yet here I stand on my tiny little positive pedestal. Its a vastly interesting perspective, isn’t it, when you know the whole story.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Laura! Hang in there. I admire your positivity in the face of so many challenges. When it rains, it pours, doesn’t it? I hope you soon find the healing you seek for your broken heart. I once had a broken heart which I allowed to devastate my life for years. Only after I was able to tell that broken, hallow and empty feeling inside of me to *eff off* was I able to accept the good back into my life. Work on getting your runs in and I think the rest will go from there. (That always works for me.) Much love to you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are SO AWESOME.. much love back to you and thank you for your encouragement and kind words. men. You taking time to say that means everything to me. I will really enjoy following and learning from you too. Again, much thanks for taking time to say that.

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  3. Whew….I’m still trying to catch my breath as I read through your comments….YOU should hold the title of my blog – Survivor, I mean…You are brutally honest and courageous at putting all this out there as you have and it does have the effect you are aiming at….seeing you confident through these struggles gives hope to me and others that our wee problems that we fret and cry over could be much, much worse. I’ve had my share of them in the past but you have certainly brought them to my memory tonight and I’m reminded of how blessed I am. Not only that, but I am 13 months free from breast cancer and I’ve spent the last year transforming my attitude to one much mirrored in yours. I so wish there was something I could do to help you…..Don’t know where you stand on prayer but I have just lifted the rafters for you….Please keep us your blogger friends posted…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Damn!! ROCK ON WOMAN…. I’m so inspired by you. My problems are nothing… nothing compared to what i am gaining by finally putting it out there. You are helping me Tammi, btw 3 of my closest friends are named Tammy. Your kind comments keep me knowing I’m in the right place finally. But being here, I’ve got dues to pay to. I believe in me, and I believe that I willl be okay. And thanks to people just like you, I’m not delusional. Thank you friend.

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  5. Well, it takes one to have a good attitude despite all the problems one is going through. It is good to talk about these problems when the opportunity comes up because one is showered with love and comfort which keeps you going as you solve problem by problem.

    If you kneel before God and tell him your challenges, there is nothing impossible with him because he sends his angels (people like us) to deliver solutions to you. Choose a day, starting with the time you wake up from bed, get a bath and ready yourself for the day. Let your day be for fasting (go without food and water) in which you tell God outloud all your needs. Keep reminding him of the needs all day or the half day you will have fasted, as you continue to pray. I can assure you, you will not be having most or all of those needs anymore from the day you fasted, onwards. The end results will lead you to fasting once in a while, when there is a need or even to fast for other people’s needs.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Beth says:

    Laura,

    You may have written this a long time ago, but I wonder how much it has changed? Are you still working that many jobs? Do you still believe that you are beginning life at 43, or are there some setbacks that need solutions? I do hope security finds you soon.

    BTW, I am following your blog or so it says, but I never get posts from you anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

Any questions, perspective, and comments are warmly welcomed.. I swear! Good and bad, its about growing and learning and getting better. I'd love to hear your thoughts, anytime. ;)

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